Tuesday, May 29, 2007

My Miracle on the Job

Oh what a day! Its been a while since i blogged but today made me want to write.

I challenged the authority of my boss' position on a matter that could cost me my job. And boy was I scared at first. I entreated the lord and he answered in my favour but I still have to face the lurking wrath of the wounded beast. Here's the story -

Job and Church clashed for the first time. And it was ugly. My weekends are committed to Christ and personal development and my normal working hours are Monday - Friday. This Saturday coming, the 2nd June, I needed to be at The office because of exams since my boss was out of the country for ten days. I didn't think that it would have been a problem to compromise the first half of this weekend's agenda with my job's agenda and I was informed yesterday that I was wrong. I had to make the choice between my commitment to my job or the commitment to the Aspirancy programme. If i chose one over the other, the threat was that the other would suffer. I would lose my job or not complete the programme.

upon telling my boss this morning since i only knew that it was a problem yesterday, she issued the treat of serious disciplinary action as stated. This made me cry agonizingly. It all boiled down to the question where do your priorities lie and choose such? And to call my boss in barbados and inform her of my weighty decision.

I locked the office door for ten minutes and prayed the Chaplet of Tears with my own added tears before I looked to engage my next move - to overrule my boss by going directly to the Executive director. To make a long story short, I was successful in my plea. upon hearing of this my boss became even more upset and promises to discipline me when she returns, but I am not worried. God worked it all out in my favour thus far and the word was final. I can't lose my job over an incident which could be avoided easily.

The lesson - Put your trust in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, Our god of Providence and His plans for you will come through. Nothing is impossible with god! Hope also on the power of intersession from the Mary Most Holy and God will hastily answer.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

Talent Show Lesson

Today, I sung Josh Groban's 'Remember When it rained' For a Talent Show. Boy was i nervous. And that song I couldn't imitate moves because the song naturally has no movements to it. I found the strength to sing in front of an audience. Something i don't usually do. I nearly always dislike publicity. Yet I thank god that everything came through. Not exactly as I wanted because I was nervous, Yet I didn't 'Buss' as we say in Trinidad.

When preparing to come on stage, i recalled how as Christians we are the ones to be under scrutiny because of our life of Holiness. And how often we end up in the public eyes. I also pondered the challenge for a man to stand up for the truth and win the people's favour and reasoning. This must be an arduous thing

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Why Full Surrender? - Chap. 12, Finding The Will of God

If we are able to greet each passing moment as themanifestation of the will of God, we will find in it all our heart can desire. What could there be more reasonable, more perfect, more divine than the will God? could any change of time or place or ccircumstance alter or increase its infinite value? If you possess the secret of discovering it at every moment and in everything, then you possess all that is most precious and worthy to be disired. What is iit that you seek, you who desire to become holy? Give full scope to your longings. Your wishes need have no measure, no limit. However much you may desire, I can show you how to attain it, even though it be infinite. There is never a moment i which I cannot enable you to obtain al lthat you can desire.

The Present moment is always filled with infinite treasure. It contains more than you have the capacity to hold. Faith is the measure of these treasures; according to your faith you will receive. The will of God is constantly before you like an immense, inexhaustible ocean that no human heart can fathom; but none can receive from it more than he has the capacity to contain. It is necessary to enlarge this capacity by faith, confidence and love.

The whole universe cannot fill the human heart, for its capacity is greater than anything other than God. It is on a highter plane than the material creation, andfor this reason nothing material can satisfy it. The divine will is a deep sea, the surface of which is the present moment. If you plunge into this sea you will find it infinitely more vast than your desires. Offer no homage to creatures;do not adore your own illusions. They can neither give you anything nor deprive you of anything. Receive your fullness from the will of God alone, and it will not leave you empty. Adore it, put it first, before all things. Tear all disguises from vain pretenses and forsake them all going straight to the sole realityy. The reign of faith is death to the senses; it is their spooilation, their destruction. The senses worship the physical. Faith adores God's divine will. Destroy the idols of the senses and they will weep andn rebel, but faith must triumph, becasue the will of God cannot be separated from it. When the senses are terrified, famished, despoiled or crushed, then it is that faith is enriched and nourished. Faith laughs at these calamities as the commander of an impregnable fortress mocks at the useless attacks of an impotent foe.

When we recognize the will of God and surrender entirely to it, then God gives Himself to us and we experience the most powerful assistance in all difficulties. Thus we enjoy great happiness in this comin gof God, and the more we learn to surrender ourselves to His all adorable will at every moment, the more joy we have.


Jean~Pierre de Caussade,
The Joy of Full Surrender
revised translation by Hal M. Helms

Monday, May 14, 2007


"Missionaries plant seeds of love that help countless hearts to grow."
- Now doesn't this remind us of the WHOLE life of Blessed Mother Theresa?
Christ has no hands but yours
Christ has no body but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours.
Yours are the eyes through which he looks,
Compassion on this world.
Yours are the feet with which He walks to do good.
yours are the hands whith which He blesses all the world.
Yours are the hands
Yours are the feet
Yours are the eyes
you are His body.
Christ has no body
now but yours,
No hands, no feet on earth but yours.
Yours are the eyes
through which He looks,
Compassion on this world.
Yours are the feet whith which
He walks to do good.
Christ has no body
now on earth but yours.
- Saint Theresa of Avila

What a Funny thing! I didn't realize that Saint Theresa wrote this and I was Firstly reminded of Another Theresa, Mother Theresa.

The psalm that speaks to my soul

From the Instruction of my priest, I have to obey and pray my morning prayer for at least twenty minutes before I begin my day. Today It began with a rough start. I prayed it. But on my way to work. It therefore took the usual place of my rosary time. In our Morning and Evening Prayer Book which the Catholic Church gives us for each day of the week and church seasons of the year, Today's Liturgy captivated my attention. For the lenght of the day I carried this scripture in my mind and heart pondering it there like Mary for the rest of the day. Consciously or Sub-Consciously. This scripture - Why are you cast down, my soul, why groan within me? Hope in God; I will praise him still, my saviour and my God - Spoke to me. I guess the Psalm was telling me persevere and be full of cheer. Purifying my soul is a cross that must be carried, so keep at it Matthew.

Psalm 41
Like the deer that yearns
for running streams,
so my sou is yearning
for you my God.
My soul s thirsting for God,
the god of my life;
when can I enter and see
the face of God?
My tears have become my bread,
by night, by day,
as I hear it said all the day long:
'Where is your God?'
These things will I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I would lead the rejoicing crowd
into the house of the God,
amid cries of gladness and thanksgiving,
the throng wild with joy.
Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in God; I will praise him still,
my saviour and my God.
My soul is cast down within me
as I think of you,
from the country of Jordan and Mount Hermon,
from the Hill of Mizar.
Deep is calling on deep,
in the roar of waters:
your torrents and all your waves
swept over me.
By day the Lord will send
his loving kindness;
by night I will sing to him,
praise the god of my life.
I will say to god, my rock:
'Why have you forgotten me:
Why do I go mourning
oppressed by the foe?'
With cries that pierce me to the heart,
my enemies revile me,
saying to me all the day long:
'Where is your God?'
Why are you cast down, my soul,
why groan within me?
Hope in god; I will praise him still,
My saviour and my God.

Friday, May 11, 2007

good things

Very busy week. Good things are happening like crazy. I am now Stable at my job. I remember more clearly and I am in a better position in my spiritual life. In my last post, I wanted to write down something from this book I am reading as a spiritual reading for the year - Why full surrender - It caught my attention when I read it some days ago and I needed to share it with you but I purposely forgot because I was packing for my second aspirancy weekend. I actually came to work with One BIG bag of clothes. thank god no one saw. lol. going to enjoy this life in the spirit. Namely the spirit of obedience over the weekend.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


This Internet access is just fueling temptation for a man overcoming a porn addiction! Alas I am not lost, for St. Anthony helps to strenghten me.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

1. An Update. 2. Original Pain Therapy

Today I see the counselor. In my eyes I am pretty ok now, after relaxing myself over the weekend, and hand another important chat with my priest. Though I feel this way, I could still like to use some advice from a psychologist's perspective. I thank Saint Anthony for his prayers and his presence today, since it was yesterday that I completed my Novena. I have indeed become stronger and more stable in my spiritual life and in my workplace. As I write this post, I feel like watching pornography because of a lustful advertisement and some blogs which I browsed. I am feeling the heat of the sin but I am not venturing into the fire. This strength of resisting temptation is improved but I still feel that I need help.

I am glad that I am getting over those two months of frustration and anxiety over myself because it was not a nice feeling. Over weekend again, In the Aspirancy Programme for discerning my vocation, the group of us ventured into Original Pain Therapy. This is a special therapy that deals with childhood pains from the womb till the age of 12 (the end of childhood). I can't wait to do the next session because we started to venture into ourselves. I recommend this to every person. Everybody has issues in their lives that has its roots in childhood like myself that needs to be soughted out to free the adult.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

God Our Father

I Love God My Father! for today he has saved me from loneliness and sorrow. He raised me up when i couldn't reach him anymore of my own effort. He came to me bring relief of body and soul. He came to me to make my life easier to bear.

I speak like this because for the past two days, i couldn't find the love to love. Even to love myself. I had just got suspended from my job for a day because of excessive mistakes with my work which i thought was so perfectly done in February. These errors haunted me and made my boss angry and very disappointed in me. What made the situation worst was my boss would have gotten into ton loads of trouble if an assessment of our department was done this semester since the institute is becoming accredited. This would have been because of my fault.

This was on Tuesday. That night I cried like a baby. I just didn't know what to do with myself since everything that seemed like my fault. not just work but everything. I need to see Jesus now now. I live not too far from a church which I remembered have whole day adoration. So late in the night around 9.20 I dressed myself and headed down to the church. there I weeped silently restraining my groaning as I addressed Jesus sacramentally present. Couldn't cry as I wanted because I was not alone. After finishing, I was more at ease with my pains.

Yesterday, at home, thinking about my life, God the father came to me. I needed a father so I yielded to his inspiration. I read the Messages from the only known and church approved Apparition of God the Father to Mother Eugenia Elisabetta Raviso?. After reading such a soothing love note to my person, God raised me, urging me to remember my dignity of being called his child. And as his child he deserves the right to serve me. He yearns to be with me in my troubles and rescue me from sadness, because his love cannot stand idle and indifferent while his child suffers. God our Father is the Best of Fathers. He reminded be that my reward for loving him and letting him love me would be great in heaven, and that I would be blessed because I believed without seeing.

These Messages of god entitled "The Father Speaks To His Children" was like drinking icy cold water under desert sun temperatures. It was like my soft comfortable bed after a tiresome day. I was absorbed into the moment of spending time with my father who loves me and do not want me to be afraid.

I encourage everyone to read these messages meant for all of us individually, since in my own estimation, many people do not know of these apparitions, more less, the messages. Its like an undiscovered treasure of riches. A secret that NEEDS TO BE TOLD.

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