Friday, April 27, 2007

Saint Anthony of Padua

I remember my priest telling me some time ago that St. Anthony, instead of him running away from god when he had plenty problems, He ran to god instead. Hearing this brought me some encouragement to run to god with my problems. Yesterday I was fighting up with myself to go to god and I was saying/praying desperately - "Lord, now you stretch out your hand to help me. I can't can reach out anymore. It is you that need to catch me, I'm unable to continue the journey and reach out anymore. Lord Jesus HELP ME. I am losing myself to myself, drowning in my misery!"

It was then that I thought that I should do a novena to one of those saints who were sinners like myself and at the end of it all inherited heaven. And I remembered what my priest said. I feel like I need a saintly male figure or a Saintly man's prayer for help because some of my problems were of masculine origins. . I narrowed it down to my patron saints to which I have five - St. Simeon (from confirmation), Matthew, Anthony, and Peter because those were my names, and St. Martin de Porres because his intersession healed me at a time in my life. Right now I am juggling between the St. Martin de Porres and St. Anthony of Padua, and I have a feeling that I would choose St. Anthony because his feast day is in June.

I took the time yesterday to write in my journal all my burdens because I want to remember what I am shouldering these passing days; I have the hope that these days of darkness would pass though my faith is dimming as I would estimate. I am praying that I make the right choices for the direction of my life, as 2007 is my year of DECISION. I did not designate this but it was my priest. I have so much to lose if I decide wrongly, One MONSTER skeleton among many in the closet and if they get out or I take them out, it would be a messy situation for me. I want to be free from fear and failure and live happily, Certain that in suffering, I become a better man and draw closer to god. THAT is my ultimate goal!

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1 comment:

. said...

St. Anthony is a strong saint and I turn to him everyday. He won't let you waiting in vain.