God is Calling. I can recognize him calling me from the actions which is happening to me in my soul. I am growing up so things need to change in my life. I just completed my Aspirancy programme and i still have not made any decision about anything firmly save my determination to be faithful to the littlest things. I am going to adopt a contemplative lifestyle to allow god to do his work but what my priest whats of me I think involves Centering Prayer. And unknown to him, that is something I am against because it is anti-christian though it seems to be christian. So what i am going to do is learn more about this centering prayer and its origins before I confront him and say I am not going to do that method of prayer.
One must learn to forget oneself in order to have oneself. I know this only in my head but I don't live it. So what i am going to do is learn to live it. I am going to come out of the spotlight of everybody else, and myself, scrutinizing me and I am going to let God work in silence like how he does it with the plants; it grows in silence, unknown and unseen. Going to do away with anxiety and fear, what I can and cannot do, and allow the god mend me. Going to stop leading myself because I obviously do not know the way to happiness.